25 years agi...

25 years ago Christmas Eve my mother was murdered by my father in front of all of us kids. I thought for the longest time that I had dealt with it all only to find out in the hospital that I have never dealt with it at all but repressed it. I am struggling with the depression that this time of year brings for me in a major way. In the past it was hard for me to deal with but the wounds are so fresh this year that ut us already difficult for me. I just don't kmow how to deal with all of this and how to get passed it enouh to be able to work on it. I tend to get quiet and withdraw. Chris and is fammily are good about keepin me busy enough for it not to get too bad but this year is going to be quite the challenge. I just hope that I can do it without another holiday that I sleep through or muddle through.

I already have a lot to work on and deal with without these things being drug up and fresh. Please oh please allow me to have the strength to get through it all. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope that it isn't a problem like all of these other things.

I hope that the holidays bring everyone joy and happiness. I hope that this season brings happiness and joy to you all. It is really a great time of year. May you give the gift of joy and happiness and love. Please remember that getting gifts is not the only reason we celebrate and that you are able to share your talents and love with those who need them.

Keep Moving Forward,
Jennie